I was very nervous about going to my first session. I'd heard so many bad things about the treatment. I knew I should probably just suck it up and get it done, but I still wasn't convinced.
I've always had some pretty definite thoughts about Chemo. My main thought was that if I was ever in a position where Chemo was the answer, I would say no. I've known so many people who have had Chemo and they've said it was the most miserable thing they have ever gone through. I always thought if I were faced with this, I would pass.
I told my Oncologist that I was having deep reservations as to whether or not I was going to go through Chemo. He and John ganged up on me until I told my Oncologist that I would give it some thought. He suggested I have at least one session and then we'll take it from there. No promises, Doc.
I found I had the only anti-Chemo opinion, I was outnumbered 17-1 in favor of me going through it. Okay, I'll give it a try.
I showed up and had my first session. When it was over, I thought "Hey, that wasn't so bad, what's the big deal"?
I felt pretty good. When we were leaving I drove us to a Chinese buffet in La Mesa for dinner, something to pass the time while the North bound afternoon rush hour traffic calmed down.
After dinner, I still felt pretty good so I drove us home.
We spent the rest of the evening like any other evening, just watching TV.
I was exhausted, so I went to bed early.
When 3am rolled around, I woke up feeling nasty. The side effects hit me all at once and it was not pleasant.
I had a brain exploding migraine, severe nausea, every bone and muscle in my body hurt. I knew right away that I should probably give up thinking I could get any more sleep - I was so very right.
I spent the rest of the night going from the bedroom to the bathroom to praise the porcelain god. Just shoot me now.
The side effect ordeal lasted for an entire 8 solid days with no let up or relief.
John taped some black garbage bags over the bedroom windows to black out the room. It helped a lot with my migraine, but my head was still on the verge of exploding and my nausea was out of control.
The next day was worse, I couldn't believe I could feel more miserable and as the minutes ticked away, I realized that my misery was only in the beginning stages with a lot more to come.
Everything anyone has ever said about Chemo side effects is 100% correct. It is pure Hell.
John kept wanting to feed me, I wasn't hungry at all. By this time, I had already lost 50 pounds. I figured if I lose another 50 pounds, I'd be at the weight I was when John and I first met. Don't get me wrong, I'm still a tank compared to days gone by.
I finally decided that mashed potatoes sounded relatively non threatening, so John made a big pot of mashed potatoes for me. Mmmm, they were so good!
I don't know what it is about potatoes and why they always make me feel better.
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