This is not the phone call anyone looks forward to.
I knew I was in trouble the Monday after Thanksgiving when my doctor called, not an assistant, but my actual doctor.
The biopsy came back positive and we need to discuss what I'm in for.
Wow, that's the kind of news that really makes your day take a sharp left.
I can't say I'm surprised by the test results. There were a few hints dropped along the way.
After my diagnostic mammogram, I was leaving and said good-bye to the technician. She said "Good luck to you". Not something you want to hear after mammogram diagnosis.
The lab called me after a blood screening to discuss the results. The first thing she said was my white blood cell count was extremely high. She then said this was normal for cancer patients. The only thing going through my mind was "I haven't even had my biopsy yet". Needless to say, I didn't hear a single word she said after that.
As the doctor was finishing up the biopsy, he gave the sample to his assistant and told her to get it to the lab ASAP and put a rush on it...this doesn't look good.
I can't explain why I'm taking this so well. I'm not stressed, angry, sad, frantic or any other negative feeling. I'm just sort of "Oh well" about it.
I have also decided that I'm not going to call this a "battle", but more of a "Stare down with mortality"
Now that I know what I'm dealing with, it's time to make a plan.
First of all, no more foster puppies.
We've been fostering rescue puppies for several years and it is not an easy thing to do. I knew I would not be able to properly take care of puppies during my upcoming treatments, so we reluctantly became puppy free.
I'll continue to do puppy sitting. Having a bunch of furry friends around me somehow makes me feel better.
I have to admit that I miss walking around with a bunch of cold little wet noses poking me in my legs.
I need to put myself in a proper state of mind. I decided that whatever happens, happens and I can't change it.
I'm determined that I was NOT going to freak out over this, I'm just going to stay as calm and realistic as possible. Many millions of women face this disaster every year, I'm not the first nor will I be the last.
All I know is that I stand a better chance of pulling through this if I don't let the stress engulf me. So far, so good.
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